“He does not want to commit to you, but he wants to do things that committed people do.” - Nancy F
Friends with benefits can be described as people who have sex without a romantic relationship or commitment. In other words, to define this would be two individuals who casually engage in acts like a couple such as kissing, touching, and other sexual things the list goes on and on….
I want to enlighten you why this is never a good idea to pursue friends with benefits. Somewhere down the line, someone is bound to get hurt. Emotions are guaranteed to be involved. You should know from the beginning of time you were not designed to be sampled like a car in a parking lot. In addition, you are not some shirt on a clearance rack that somebody tries on in the fitting room and after they have stretch it and worn it puts it back on the clothing rack. That is not you. You are precious and worth so much more. It is up to you to know this for yourself. Matthew 7:6 “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”
If I had to paint another picture of friends with benefits it would appear something like this, two people who agreed to stray each other along knowing there is no real chance of forming something serious. It can also pass as cousins for situation-ships I will save that for another blog post.
Why do some people agree to have friends with benefits?
I believe one of the reasons why some men and women agree to be friends with benefits is for the simple fact there is NO TITLE. When there is no title involved, there is no room to dictate what the other individual do, no legitimate reason to ask couple like questions although this happens anyways and it sends a “safe” message. I am safe if I don’t get too involved just in case I get attach and nothing come out of it or safe in protecting one heart to not be emotionally hurt. While a few may agree to its advantages of having a companion and not being lonely on days and nights when it matters the most, nevertheless, we can also agree of the disadvantage when the time come for the two to separate.
Who is most likely to be affected by FWB males or females?
Exactly how long can a situation like friends with benefits continue until it becomes more than nothing….? According to males, females are more prone to being attached in this matter rather than guys this is because both women and men view sex from different levels. A guy can have sex without inserting his emotions, however, as women more than likely it’s a big deal for us because we are sensitive, we love hard and we are emotional beings this is not to say that guys are not, but we are more in tune with our emotions than they are we are more expressive. I want you to know what you are getting yourself into and the damage it can lead for your spiritual walk with God and your physical being. This can affect you spiritually in a result of unhealthy soul ties. Sex is a soul tie with another, so despite the "no claims" something is indeed lurking in the atmosphere. 1 Corinthians 6: 15-16 a biblical reference for an ungodly and non-healthy soul ties. My goal for you is to recognize this is not a “fun fling” as it may appear to be, time invested result in something more whether you choose to believe it or not.
A wise woman shared with me, when you are friends with benefits it is like strolling you along until the right person come. This is facts. The individual is not a serious inquiry rather just a for the moment client. This is what I emphasized in the beginning when I wrote "it's up to you to know this for yourself" why? Honestly, when you know you, you are cautious to what you get yourself into.
Sister, if you know yourself then make it your business to not set yourself up for failure. It is easier said than done, but God ultimate plan for you was and will never be for a guy to use you as an object. His word talks about how wonderful you are, how many great things if he has in store for you, and the sacrifice he made sending his son Jesus Christ to partake in his eternal glory. The cost was heavy, do not bargain yourself.
I hope you are encouraged and move by this topic to start analyzing the real you the true you.