Dear single sister,
I want you to know that some days being single will feel like a blessing and other days like a curse. I don’t want you to ever read my blogs and think “she’s talking from a whole different level than me when it comes to singleness” Sister no. I am encouraging you as I am encouraging me. How are you doing in your singleness? Has your perspective changed?
I would always think “well because I’ve messed up in my prior relationships that God must be punishing me by allowing me to stay single this long so let me just help him by being hard on myself too” I don’t know who voice I was listening to, but it was not the voice of God. Evidence that I picked up another mindest contrary to Jesus’s mindset is this verse of scripture 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love cast out fear. For fear has to do with punishment and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. Boom! See? It’s a lie God was not punishing me for past mistakes, he was actually ordering my steps towards his unfailing love. To show me real love and not the love or attention I was looking for in those guys. I built a wall (without God telling me to do it) to imprison myself. Perhaps, that's you. You have been up and down from previous relationships and now being single not only look like punishment to you, but you want to imprison yourself. Get out of God’s way ok? He forgave you the moment you asked for forgiveness stop putting yourself back in chains.
“Nancy don’t be the reason why you are still single with this wall up. “ was a reminder I told myself when I came across a devotion from my “Woman thou art loosed” Bible. We often build walls up from tools of pain and we think the walls are keeping us safe, but they aren’t. Sis, may God break down those ten thousand weight in walls of yours with his divine touch.
Don’t be that “paranoid single girl” either. Not every man that approaches you want something from you. I know this is not easy to comprehend, but it’s true. The enemy and our flesh has tagged team together to torment us in every way possible, sadly we fall for the show very so often. This is a sickened mindset to have. I was this way for a very long time. This isn’t a woman of God mindset. Some people see the light in you, some people want to simply be your friend and some are just being nice, nothing more and nothing less. Blame your past for this disturbing mindset and change your perspective. Every “excuse me” is not an invitation to be your boyfriend. Ephesians 4:23-24 Have a new mind and heart. Be a new person. That person has been made like God. He does what is right and holy because he knows the truth.
Lastly single sister, I want you to know this important factor. Your story will NOT be like anybody else story. Stop assuming you will meet a guy and boom boom you become his wife. (PLEASE NOTE: God can do A N Y T H I N G okay?) But let’s get this idea that just because one of our sisters in Christ or a beloved one met their man a certain we too will meet ours that way. Throw the whole mindset away. Issa lie.
You will have a unique story. It’s totally fine to see a paired couple and admire them, but honey wait for your own thing. You may meet your ideal man online, book store, at an event or wherever else, but my whole point is this; it won’t look like someone else avenue and even if it’s similar don’t expect the same exact formula.
You’ve reached the end of my note. I hope you can relate to this and stand the course. Singleness is what you make it. You aren’t waiting on God, he is waiting on you. Get it together, get in tune with him and get out of his way.
From another single sister