Back then there was a time when I would blast Taylor Swift’s album around the house with my friends. It was one of our faves. There was a song on the album titled “fifteen.” In the song, Taylor says in one her verses “and when you’re fifteen don’t forget to look before you fall…. Rarely do we look before falling. We fall for advertisement on T.V, we fall for the presentation the store associates gives us when we walk in to make us feel like we need what they are selling. We fall for the deals at our favorite makeup stores, retail, restaurants and black friday deals. The 50% sign makes us feel like we instantly need it, but really we can wait a little longer for it or if we’re honest, it’s not a need. In the same way, we fall for certain guys too girlie. We fall for the way they dress (if you are attracted to a man who dress well) and we fall for their facial features, but we never stop and pause to think about their character.
This guy and I fell into a little “fling.” A fling is what I would describe as something cute, but not really right. We would hang out and go places together, but truth be told in the eyes of the Lord it wasn’t pure. See, something can feel good, but is it good? Someone can make you feel like the butterflies in your stomach are singing notes and keys, but when the music stops was it worth it?
Here are some questions I want you to ask yourself before falling or if you already fell. #1 ask yourself “Self? Does God have you?” this is important to ask because you want to make sure the Lord has you before anyone can or attempt to have you. Giving God all of you is a safe zone. (disclaimer: I am not writing this as someone who looks forward to giving God all of me all the time. This is not always a “hallelujah” moment. There are days when I don’t feel like being vulnerable or talk about things that will open me up.) However, doing this will build your faith in Jesus and your relationship with him. I urge you to see if the Lord has you or if your relationship with him is like the wind it tosses and turn from different directions.
#2, Ask yourself what role will this person play in your life/is playing in your life? Why is this important? Well, anyone that comes in your life has an assignment or motive and it’s up to you to find out what it is. Are you hanging out with a guy to satisfy your emotions? Are you feeding a void? Will this guy help you accomplish spiritual maturity? Is he there for fun when you’re lonely? Are you with him to get over the single life? Did God approve of him? I wish I asked myself some of these questions before getting involved with someone, I would have save myself not only from disappointments, but from heartbreaks. We have to apply wisdom and not simply move on the behalf of what our hearts want because sometimes our heart can deceive us. James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all liberally and without reproach and it will be given to him. Sis, you must ask, don’t just expect wisdom. It is something you must seek after God for.
#3 Are you at peace? Most times, we ignore the warning signs from the beginning and just assume things will change later on, but if peace is not on the scene then something is wrong. Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. We serve a God of peace so if talking to a young man or being with someone makes you more anxious than at ease then Houston, we have a problem! I share with you in my first blog how I always had a different dude I was talking to, it was really bad. I went on a date with a guy to a nice restaurant and I had no peace about it. He was a well-known guy with flashy stuff that made girls go nuts, but sitting there with him cutting my shrimp and steak, my spirit signaled me that he wasn’t “the one”. He was nice yes, looked nice yes and had the money yes, but he did not have what I prayed for in a man. Only God knows what I truly desire and need. I wish I listened to the peace within because I found out later on with his actions that we were not a match. If this is you, then listen to the voice that is tugging at you. I know we like to hear a loud thunder voice give us instructions, but we need to listen to the soft whisper as well.
#4 Examine yourself and say truthfully, what would your leaders or mentor say? If you are somebody who don’t like people all in your “business” then you run the risk of receiving wise counsel. I am not saying to grab everyone from the block and tell them your business, moreover I am indicating you find a trusted source among your church or family and tell them to get their point of view. Most people do not do this because after hearing instructions you are held responsible. You either take the instructions or you flush it down the toilet. I am bless to have sisters in the Lord/mentor that won’t sugar coat anything with me. She told me the truth even if it meant tears were strolling down my face. One time, I expressed my feelings to her about a particular guy and she gave me some things to think about. She gave me some questions to ask him and what to look out for, was it fun hearing those things? Heck no. It’s never fun hearing someone you’ve already fallen for is not a match-made for you or hearing the words “be careful.” The bible talks about taking heed to counsel and what it can do for you. Proverbs 11:14 Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. Lastly, Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.
I will be the first to admit, I did not always take true the words I was given. I sometimes sat in the presence of wisdom and turn around and did the same foolishness I was told not to do. I paid for it in the end, I needed to renew my mind a lot. If it was so bad, I fasted. But you sister, you can choose to do this the right way. I am in no way or form saying you won’t make mistake, but if you can prevent making errors by asking yourself these very questions then you won’t need to stay up late night crying to a love song, being mad when you see that guy or walking with regrets. I would love to hear what your personal experiences were and if this blog was helpful to you in any way. Leave me a comment, subscribe to find out when I drop a new post and most importantly stay near Jesus and be encourage.