I wrote a couple weeks ago on my Instagram page about how I had this xs black dress that I wore to basically every outing. This dress was for movies, hanging out, graduation, dinners and church. I complained so much about not having enough options. Everyone need at least one piece in their closet that when someone says “hey let’s go out” you can depend on that item that’s in your closet. Do you have a dress, shirt, blouse or pants that’s convenient for every ocassion? …..I do.
Furthermore, after complaining to an old friend because let’s face it,what are friends for if you cannot call and complain about rubbish things? Lol…. she encouraged me to be grateful for this little black dress that someone else maybe praying for. Raise your hands if when someone is telling you the truth, but you don’t want to hear it at the moment? *and the hands go up and they stay thereeee*
However, she had a valid point. Rose, don’t be like me. I want to take the place of my friend to challenge you to think a different way. Perhaps your friends have parents who are able to afford nice clothes for them and you don’t have that access. Whatever your story may be right now keep reading and find out you can appreciate more while having less.
2. Being content with your portion.
It’s okay to want more, but it’s not okay when your mind is fixed only to acquire more. Learn this skill and it will help you grow as you live this life. Philippians 4:11. If you are always searching for more nothing you receive will be enough. The dress was not an issue, but the problem was with the owner of the dress.
3. Know that your season will change eventually
Rose, you won’t be at your parent’s house or where you are for long. You will get to a season in your life where you can start applying for jobs and work to buy your own stuff and revamp your wardrobe. The time will arrive when you can take care of yourself. So slow down and chill. I still have my dress as a reminder and there’s time I wear it creatively which brings me to point number 4
4. Work with what you have
Instead of complaining all the time get creative! Nobody knew how many times I wore my dress because each time I added my own flavor to it. Are you adding your own twist to things? So what you are not a fashionista or you may not be great at putting things together, read magazines, get on Pinterest, go thrifting and find clothes for $3.99! You are more creative than you think.
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My teenage years was filled with a lot of sunny days and rainy ones. I made a mess around my house trying to cook something I saw my neighbor made, I slipped and fell in front of everyone at my old middle school Thomas Jefferson Middle School and my old crush saw me, how embarrassing? It was a pleasure walking blocks from school to home with my friends. We were sweating and conversing about our day or how our teacher tried it. We even made stops to the nearest corner stores and ate junk food for dinner.
Young rose, I want you to enjoy your youth because once you transition into adulthood that's it. There's no going back and re-living those precious times. Yes, Chuck-E. Cheese will always be open for entertainment, but nothing beats the authentic summer days and actually living in the moment. I hope you aren't trying to grow up too fast you have a whole lot of lessons ahead of you. Breathe.
Below is a list of 10 things that every teen girls should know (if you don't already know.) Comment, like and share with a friend and as always be encourage!
Models Instagram page: _xx.sarahh
trackstar_nene and yourfavorite_shanty.
Thank you for reading!
Nancy F, muah.
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You are NOT crazy. Yes you read that correctly. You aren’t and the best part is you are not alone. A lot of people are embarrassed, ashamed and hide really well when it comes to emotionally healing to pretend like it’s not there or they don’t need it, but you don’t have too. Sister, this does not have to be you. God placed feelings and emotions on the inside of us and thankfully, we don’t have to shun away from them. I will always encourage you to look closer within because anyone can dress up the body, but no one can dress up what’s inside the body.
I have been doing some emotional detoxing and perhaps you left that stage last year (congratulations you are more internally healthy keep up the good work!) But if this is your current stage like it is for me than allow me to share 4 things I want you to consider on your journey to becoming a better you a more free version of you.
Jeremiah 17:14 Heal me, Lord and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.
Emotional healing is a process. A process is more than overnight. Be willing, to be honest with God and yourself. Get to the root of the problem. Stop proclaiming quotes, reciting scriptures and doing what people expect of you and start getting heal so you can be made whole. God desires a clean hand and a pure heart.
yours truly Nancy F.
What is purpose? Purpose is the reason for which something is done or created for which something exists.
It was a gloomy afternoon and I was home alone. I love cleaning so I decided to sweep the entire house and spoke out loud to the Lord. In the meantime, prior to having this dialogue with Jesus, I was reading an amazing book titled “In Pursuit of Purpose” by Dr. Myles Munroe this was the assigned book to read at the book club I was a part of, but I read the book so fast because of all the wow moments I encountered. This powerful book spoke volume to my inner man and it led me to read the Bible concerning my purpose and this is where the REAL questions began……
I asked questions like this
“Lord what am I doing here?”
“What did you have in mind when you created me?
“What is the why to my existence?”
“I want to live a life where I am walking in my full assignment what does that look like?”
“You created everything for a reason so what was your reason for me?
These were few of my many questionnaires towards God. Sister, if you are serious about knowing your purpose then it is going to require you to ask intentional questions. I purposely ask those questions. I did not go around the bush or fake what I was feeling I genuinely wanted to know. I set aside time to chat with the Holy Spirit, to pray and fast because I wanted answers. I practically bothered God every day about this. See, Jesus is not hiding anything from you. He actually wants you to know Luke 12:32 “Do not be afraid, little flock for your father has been pleased to give you the kingdom) Jesus is waiting for you to ask him. Knowing your purpose is one of the most treasurable things in this lifetime. God created everything for a reason read Genesis so your existence has a reason and it is your job to seek the Lord and find and live a fulfilled Christian life. I want to share with you 5 ways to attain access to finding your UNIQUE purpose. Are you ready to tap into a whole other level? Continue reading….
The nerve of me to open my mouth bluntly and say “God, I want to help teen girls and young women” only for the Lord to save me because, at that time when I uttered those words, I was not a believer of the Gospel. Funny enough, the thoughts would not leave me. They grew and grew. I shared all my feelings with God daily. I want you to express. Tell him your deepest desires over and over again. After all, he tells us to come boldly before the throne of grace.
Scripture tells us in Matthew 7: 7-8 when you ask you shall receive. It is dangerous to keep quiet especially when you and I have access to the Kingdom of God. There are things waiting to be discovered, but you aren’t asking. Some of us grew up in religious churches where you were told to not question God about anything, but if we are his friends and no longer servants shouldn't we know what he is all about? We have the right to ask. Do not allow your thoughts or outsiders make you feel guilty for going before the Lord and desiring to know why he created you. If Abraham had back and forth dialogue with God then so can you and I.
Prayer is special communion with God. Pray always and be intentional too. I know I keep repeating this word, but it is true. An intentional heart is a honest heart. Pray without ceasing and you will get your answer. Pray, wait for him to response and then proceed. There was a season in my life when I felt God was not talking. I wanted to knock on Heaven’s door and say “Hello sir is there anybody home?” but I realized when I prayed it was not God who was mute, but it was my ability to hear. How bad do you want an answer? Pray and then take time to hear. Hint: try praying the word of God, for example if you are reading something like John 10:10 make it personal and say “God, your word says that the thief only come to destroy, but I thank you that you came that I may have an abundant life. You want me to have a satisfied life with you. Show me my purpose so I can mirror you in all that I do and please you.”
This is an extra step you can take, but it’s a great one. I love that the word of God said when you fast and not if you do. Great things unravel when you humble yourself and starve your flesh to get closer to God. He responds to prayer and fasting big time. If you don’t believe me read the bible for examples :)
5. BE OPEN TO RECEIVE
You may have found your purpose or you are about to. Be open to receive why? Well, most likely it will be BIGGER than you and you will feel unqualified for the mission. I felt so scared and in this present day I shiver within when I think about what God revealed to me in regards of my visions, the prophetic words and forth. I wanted to cry due to the simple fact, the dream does not match where I am today, but God doesn’t care. How he sees you is what matters to him. We always see the status now, but he is out of our time and he sees the bigger print.
P.S God led me to read a book which was connected to the bible. I want you to be aware that your way of finding out may be completely different from me and that’s okay as long as you discover your destiny that’s 10 times more significant. Do not try to copy me or anybody else on their journey to finding their purpose be inspired, but flow according to the spirit because that’s the best way! Funny enough, what I always wanted to do was always in me. God bought it to light. Since the eighth grade I declared out of my mouth I wanted to teach teenage girls and young women about the importance of self worth and finding true love in Jesus Christ and boom! Mind- blown. I hope you were inspired! Try these steps, the journey will be different, but the steps will work (you may get 8 more steps messing with God.)
Be bless and encouraged!
“He does not want to commit to you, but he wants to do things that committed people do.” - Nancy F
Friends with benefits can be described as people who have sex without a romantic relationship or commitment. In other words, to define this would be two individuals who casually engage in acts like a couple such as kissing, touching, and other sexual things the list goes on and on….
I want to enlighten you why this is never a good idea to pursue friends with benefits. Somewhere down the line, someone is bound to get hurt. Emotions are guaranteed to be involved. You should know from the beginning of time you were not designed to be sampled like a car in a parking lot. In addition, you are not some shirt on a clearance rack that somebody tries on in the fitting room and after they have stretch it and worn it puts it back on the clothing rack. That is not you. You are precious and worth so much more. It is up to you to know this for yourself. Matthew 7:6 “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”
If I had to paint another picture of friends with benefits it would appear something like this, two people who agreed to stray each other along knowing there is no real chance of forming something serious. It can also pass as cousins for situation-ships I will save that for another blog post.
Why do some people agree to have friends with benefits?
I believe one of the reasons why some men and women agree to be friends with benefits is for the simple fact there is NO TITLE. When there is no title involved, there is no room to dictate what the other individual do, no legitimate reason to ask couple like questions although this happens anyways and it sends a “safe” message. I am safe if I don’t get too involved just in case I get attach and nothing come out of it or safe in protecting one heart to not be emotionally hurt. While a few may agree to its advantages of having a companion and not being lonely on days and nights when it matters the most, nevertheless, we can also agree of the disadvantage when the time come for the two to separate.
Who is most likely to be affected by FWB males or females?
Exactly how long can a situation like friends with benefits continue until it becomes more than nothing….? According to males, females are more prone to being attached in this matter rather than guys this is because both women and men view sex from different levels. A guy can have sex without inserting his emotions, however, as women more than likely it’s a big deal for us because we are sensitive, we love hard and we are emotional beings this is not to say that guys are not, but we are more in tune with our emotions than they are we are more expressive. I want you to know what you are getting yourself into and the damage it can lead for your spiritual walk with God and your physical being. This can affect you spiritually in a result of unhealthy soul ties. Sex is a soul tie with another, so despite the "no claims" something is indeed lurking in the atmosphere. 1 Corinthians 6: 15-16 a biblical reference for an ungodly and non-healthy soul ties. My goal for you is to recognize this is not a “fun fling” as it may appear to be, time invested result in something more whether you choose to believe it or not.
A wise woman shared with me, when you are friends with benefits it is like strolling you along until the right person come. This is facts. The individual is not a serious inquiry rather just a for the moment client. This is what I emphasized in the beginning when I wrote "it's up to you to know this for yourself" why? Honestly, when you know you, you are cautious to what you get yourself into.
Sister, if you know yourself then make it your business to not set yourself up for failure. It is easier said than done, but God ultimate plan for you was and will never be for a guy to use you as an object. His word talks about how wonderful you are, how many great things if he has in store for you, and the sacrifice he made sending his son Jesus Christ to partake in his eternal glory. The cost was heavy, do not bargain yourself.
I hope you are encouraged and move by this topic to start analyzing the real you the true you.
Dear single sister,
I want you to know that some days being single will feel like a blessing and other days like a curse. I don’t want you to ever read my blogs and think “she’s talking from a whole different level than me when it comes to singleness” Sister no. I am encouraging you as I am encouraging me. How are you doing in your singleness? Has your perspective changed?
I would always think “well because I’ve messed up in my prior relationships that God must be punishing me by allowing me to stay single this long so let me just help him by being hard on myself too” I don’t know who voice I was listening to, but it was not the voice of God. Evidence that I picked up another mindest contrary to Jesus’s mindset is this verse of scripture 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love cast out fear. For fear has to do with punishment and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. Boom! See? It’s a lie God was not punishing me for past mistakes, he was actually ordering my steps towards his unfailing love. To show me real love and not the love or attention I was looking for in those guys. I built a wall (without God telling me to do it) to imprison myself. Perhaps, that's you. You have been up and down from previous relationships and now being single not only look like punishment to you, but you want to imprison yourself. Get out of God’s way ok? He forgave you the moment you asked for forgiveness stop putting yourself back in chains.
“Nancy don’t be the reason why you are still single with this wall up. “ was a reminder I told myself when I came across a devotion from my “Woman thou art loosed” Bible. We often build walls up from tools of pain and we think the walls are keeping us safe, but they aren’t. Sis, may God break down those ten thousand weight in walls of yours with his divine touch.
Don’t be that “paranoid single girl” either. Not every man that approaches you want something from you. I know this is not easy to comprehend, but it’s true. The enemy and our flesh has tagged team together to torment us in every way possible, sadly we fall for the show very so often. This is a sickened mindset to have. I was this way for a very long time. This isn’t a woman of God mindset. Some people see the light in you, some people want to simply be your friend and some are just being nice, nothing more and nothing less. Blame your past for this disturbing mindset and change your perspective. Every “excuse me” is not an invitation to be your boyfriend. Ephesians 4:23-24 Have a new mind and heart. Be a new person. That person has been made like God. He does what is right and holy because he knows the truth.
Lastly single sister, I want you to know this important factor. Your story will NOT be like anybody else story. Stop assuming you will meet a guy and boom boom you become his wife. (PLEASE NOTE: God can do A N Y T H I N G okay?) But let’s get this idea that just because one of our sisters in Christ or a beloved one met their man a certain we too will meet ours that way. Throw the whole mindset away. Issa lie.
You will have a unique story. It’s totally fine to see a paired couple and admire them, but honey wait for your own thing. You may meet your ideal man online, book store, at an event or wherever else, but my whole point is this; it won’t look like someone else avenue and even if it’s similar don’t expect the same exact formula.
You’ve reached the end of my note. I hope you can relate to this and stand the course. Singleness is what you make it. You aren’t waiting on God, he is waiting on you. Get it together, get in tune with him and get out of his way.
From another single sister
“Mezanmi manman pale anpil, li toujou fache!” said James in creole. Translation “Oh my goodness, my mom talk a lot she is always mad!” Rebecca replied in the same language “Wi li pa janm tande sa map di li toujou dim se timoun ou ye” translation “Yes, she never listens to anything I try to tell her she always says I’m just a kid.”
Do these lines above sound familiar? Can we raise our hand if we ever tried to speak to our Caribbean- Haitian parents and it never got us anywhere? I want you to know you are not alone and there’s an army of Haitian teens who feel the same way. But why though? Why is it that our parents have issues understanding us? If anyone supposed to know us it should be them right?
I’m from Haiti. I am not mixed with anything which makes me 100% Haitian. Yes, I am a U.S citizen, but my home is St. Louis Du Nord, Haiti. I am familiar with the Haitian characteristics because both of my parents are from Haiti. I want to admit although my parents are not like most Haitian parents, they too have some traits that are at times annoying. Who else can relate? It can become very frustrating trying to get your point across. Sometimes, they assume what we have to say is not important. In their opinion, we are and always will be a child (does not matter what age you reach or the status of your life you will always be addressed as their child.) This is not a bad thing and we are not denying the truth that we are indeed their seeds for life, however it would not hurt to be given the freedom to express our emotions without hearing a threat or a funky phrase. Here are some of the reasons why our Haitian parents have a hard time understanding us sometimes in hopes this will help you to have more patience and compassion for them.
1. They cannot give us what they never received growing up. I know because they are our parents we expect for them to have all the answers, but honestly they don’t. I am not making excuses to justify this matter, I am simply shedding light to it. Most of our parents can agree to this. Some of them for example, my mom who left her mother house in her early twenties to start a whole family, she expressed to me when I was sixteen years old that her mom never had certain conversations with her because her mom was so strict. Sister, you have to know that your parents are doing what they know to do and they cannot pour into us what someone did not pour into them. Some of them grew up without a father or mother to guide them and this is why it's not easy for them to understand us especially if they did not comprehend themselves growing up.
2. Some of our parents are still carrying the “living in Haiti” mindset. This can become a barrier when we desire to speak to them or build a relationship because they are still living in the “old times” in their minds. How many scenarios you encountered with your mom or dad when in the midst of talking they said things like “Well when I was in Haiti….” not realizing that we are no longer in Haiti. Things has changed! Do our parents get this concept? NO. Do they want to accept it? NO. But this is reality and it’s going to take more than us being mad at them to change it.
3. Our parents have a hard time understanding us because they don’t think what we have to say matters. I want you to place yourself in this image that I am about to paint in your mind. When someone is speaking to you or to a crowd about a particular topic you do not agree with do you fight in your feelings and emotions to try and understand them in the moment? Or do you find it hard to agree with them because truthfully you don’t care about what they have to say? In the same way this is our parents. When they don’t think what we have to say matters, they mentally shut us down.
4. Our parents are too busy! After a long day at school or university we just want someone to talk to and release our day too, but sis again, that is not always reality. If it’s not church activities, work, going to a friend house, talking to someone on the phone, watching a movie, praying, or church conference we cannot get their attention. I am in no way denouncing church because I believe in God and I also believe in spending time in his tabernacle, but our Haitian parents can get carried away with church and other places mentioned.
I wrote this blog to help you have a better understanding to why Haitian our parents are the way they are because if know why someone behave the way they do then your chances of finding ways to approach them differently will be more than less. Can things change? Absolutely. It may look like a never-ending cycle, but that is not the case with God he is the God of the impossible. The bible says in Mark 10:27 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” Please, don’t give up on your parents. I know it’s tempting to do so, but if you have not already have a little more patience with them, they really need it. Now, I have an assignment for you to complete. I Know it’s easier to talk about how terrible our Haitian parents can act sometimes, but I want you to put in more effort this week to observe them and if there is something you can do, to make them at least smile, do it.
Let me know if this helps you? I want to hear from you. My Instagram page is nancyfleuridor and my twitter as well. Feel free to reach out to me, leave me a comment, share with a friend and as always,
Sister, grab a seat or a tea and let me spill (I’ll make this as short as possible.) on how I struggled for years concerning insecurities and what changed for me?! I hope you are reading this with an open mind and a willing heart to put in the work it is going to take to become confident.
How it started…...
I’ll like to say my low- self esteem started because I was told first by my family members “you are so skinny” and “you need to eat” those words hurt me so much and made me hide under a shell each time. Friends of the family would come over and give me nicknames that I would awkwardly smile to. I remember living with my childhood friends and telling them I did not like my body. I would eat way more than my body could consume and I would take pills to make me look bigger not because I had a personal goal in mind, but simply due to the tiredness of hearing how I looked from other people’s point of view.
MISTAKE #1 When you see yourself from other people’s point of view you take on their mind and begin to say what they say about you to yourself. So if someone says you are so skinny or so fat you agree with them by looking at yourself in the same manner. This is just like the voice of the enemy when satan whispers lies in your ear such as “you are not smart enough to do that” or “ it will always be this way for you” you agree with him when you start repeating it as we
Things were so bad that by the time I made it to middle school I was wearing oversize clothes to hide my shape so I would not be the center of attention. My teachers would openly during class time make little remarks about me, ask me if something was wrong with me or why don’t I eat? This made me feel defensive and truthfully I was ready to snap back when people came for me. (fact: I was not always saved plus your girl did not grow up from the church so my mouth was spicy like a sailor captain!)
MISTAKE #2 Having no confidence made me defensive and caused me to get out of character. Transparent moment: I would curse people out when they uttered the “skinny girl” jokes at me. Sister, who are you giving power to? Who have the keys to your emotions? Are you getting out of character like I did for people who does not see nor understand that God created you how he designed you to be? I made those mistakes and I want to encourage you to not do the same.
Guys who like me, pretended to like me or were simply jerks at the time would pick on me. At this point, I was questioning God like “Why did you make me so slim knowing people would talk about me?” I did not like my legs, I did not like taking full body pictures, I did not enjoy wearing stuff that showed my arms and I thought “well the cool girls are the ones with a shapely body.” I went so far in my mind to believe maybe if I was having sex I would gain some weight, this was misleading information and not the case for everyone. (please don’t try this if you were thinking of doing it. Save your precious body.)
HUGE MISTAKE #3 Thank God he didn’t let me fall into the lies of the enemy. I didn’t need to do what most of my surroundings were doing at the time to “gain” approval. I want you to also know that the man God has for you will love you if you are a size 2 or a size 12. No man who truly treasure you will say things to purposely bring you down. Also, one of the most silly mistakes you can make is to dim your beauty for the sake of other people. God is not embarrassed by you, he created you in his image and likeness. -----------> read about it (Genesis 1:26)
Concrete confidence arrived when I was in P.E one day and my female coach told me something I would never forget, she said “Nancy, God makes no mistake.” The words sounded like a melody I have never heard before. They were simple words, but a necessary phrase! I began believing those words about myself. I started to read God’s word (I was not saved at the time so I put this into practice over time when I encountered Jesus Christ the son of God through bible study and church) I would look at myself in the mirror and express out loud “you are beautiful” I did this until it became natural for me. See, you have to believe what God says about you or else you won’t believe when others compliment you. Everyone did not pick on me, but the negative comments outweighed the positive ones. I wrote in the beginning that it is going to take some work before you can go from insecurity to confidence, but it is a rewarding work. No, you cannot only pray low self esteem away you must put some actions behind it. Begin to speak well of yourself with the help of the bible (I would recommend a translation you can understand when reading it). Read psalm 139, Genesis 1 the whole chapter, talk to positive individuals you can trust that will lift you up when you are feeling down, write positive notes to yourself and last but not least ask Jesus Christ “help me to see me the way you see me” so he can shift your eyesight.
P. S I now love my body and I appreciate everything about myself. I walk with no shame because I know who I belong to and he is a King so that makes me royalty. I compliment myself before others get the opportunity to compliment me why? Because I vow to never give anyone else that kind of power over me. Take your keys back sister.
Leave me a comment and let me know if this help you. Are you going through this now? Don’t be ashamed. I know this will be behind you soon. Talk to you later.
Back then there was a time when I would blast Taylor Swift’s album around the house with my friends. It was one of our faves. There was a song on the album titled “fifteen.” In the song, Taylor says in one her verses “and when you’re fifteen don’t forget to look before you fall…. Rarely do we look before falling. We fall for advertisement on T.V, we fall for the presentation the store associates gives us when we walk in to make us feel like we need what they are selling. We fall for the deals at our favorite makeup stores, retail, restaurants and black friday deals. The 50% sign makes us feel like we instantly need it, but really we can wait a little longer for it or if we’re honest, it’s not a need. In the same way, we fall for certain guys too girlie. We fall for the way they dress (if you are attracted to a man who dress well) and we fall for their facial features, but we never stop and pause to think about their character.
This guy and I fell into a little “fling.” A fling is what I would describe as something cute, but not really right. We would hang out and go places together, but truth be told in the eyes of the Lord it wasn’t pure. See, something can feel good, but is it good? Someone can make you feel like the butterflies in your stomach are singing notes and keys, but when the music stops was it worth it?
Here are some questions I want you to ask yourself before falling or if you already fell. #1 ask yourself “Self? Does God have you?” this is important to ask because you want to make sure the Lord has you before anyone can or attempt to have you. Giving God all of you is a safe zone. (disclaimer: I am not writing this as someone who looks forward to giving God all of me all the time. This is not always a “hallelujah” moment. There are days when I don’t feel like being vulnerable or talk about things that will open me up.) However, doing this will build your faith in Jesus and your relationship with him. I urge you to see if the Lord has you or if your relationship with him is like the wind it tosses and turn from different directions.
#2, Ask yourself what role will this person play in your life/is playing in your life? Why is this important? Well, anyone that comes in your life has an assignment or motive and it’s up to you to find out what it is. Are you hanging out with a guy to satisfy your emotions? Are you feeding a void? Will this guy help you accomplish spiritual maturity? Is he there for fun when you’re lonely? Are you with him to get over the single life? Did God approve of him? I wish I asked myself some of these questions before getting involved with someone, I would have save myself not only from disappointments, but from heartbreaks. We have to apply wisdom and not simply move on the behalf of what our hearts want because sometimes our heart can deceive us. James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all liberally and without reproach and it will be given to him. Sis, you must ask, don’t just expect wisdom. It is something you must seek after God for.
#3 Are you at peace? Most times, we ignore the warning signs from the beginning and just assume things will change later on, but if peace is not on the scene then something is wrong. Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. We serve a God of peace so if talking to a young man or being with someone makes you more anxious than at ease then Houston, we have a problem! I share with you in my first blog how I always had a different dude I was talking to, it was really bad. I went on a date with a guy to a nice restaurant and I had no peace about it. He was a well-known guy with flashy stuff that made girls go nuts, but sitting there with him cutting my shrimp and steak, my spirit signaled me that he wasn’t “the one”. He was nice yes, looked nice yes and had the money yes, but he did not have what I prayed for in a man. Only God knows what I truly desire and need. I wish I listened to the peace within because I found out later on with his actions that we were not a match. If this is you, then listen to the voice that is tugging at you. I know we like to hear a loud thunder voice give us instructions, but we need to listen to the soft whisper as well.
#4 Examine yourself and say truthfully, what would your leaders or mentor say? If you are somebody who don’t like people all in your “business” then you run the risk of receiving wise counsel. I am not saying to grab everyone from the block and tell them your business, moreover I am indicating you find a trusted source among your church or family and tell them to get their point of view. Most people do not do this because after hearing instructions you are held responsible. You either take the instructions or you flush it down the toilet. I am bless to have sisters in the Lord/mentor that won’t sugar coat anything with me. She told me the truth even if it meant tears were strolling down my face. One time, I expressed my feelings to her about a particular guy and she gave me some things to think about. She gave me some questions to ask him and what to look out for, was it fun hearing those things? Heck no. It’s never fun hearing someone you’ve already fallen for is not a match-made for you or hearing the words “be careful.” The bible talks about taking heed to counsel and what it can do for you. Proverbs 11:14 Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. Lastly, Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.
I will be the first to admit, I did not always take true the words I was given. I sometimes sat in the presence of wisdom and turn around and did the same foolishness I was told not to do. I paid for it in the end, I needed to renew my mind a lot. If it was so bad, I fasted. But you sister, you can choose to do this the right way. I am in no way or form saying you won’t make mistake, but if you can prevent making errors by asking yourself these very questions then you won’t need to stay up late night crying to a love song, being mad when you see that guy or walking with regrets. I would love to hear what your personal experiences were and if this blog was helpful to you in any way. Leave me a comment, subscribe to find out when I drop a new post and most importantly stay near Jesus and be encourage.
How many times you heard good news for someone and you were happy for them, but heard this little “what about me?” voice in your head? I know I am not the only one…. I would go home and think to myself “why was I questioning myself in the midst of someone else happiness?” If that’s you then I am going to show you 3 ways you can overcome those thoughts.
3. Practice being genuinely happy for them. Do the opposite of what is tugging in your heart. When someone else is in their winning season know that God is the shifter of all seasons and if you faint not, you will see your appointed season. One thing I’ve done when this feeling creeps up on me is I begin clapping louder to silence the comparison thoughts, I will think on good things like “God remembered Noah so he will remember me.” (Genesis 8:1) I also think about the trials the individual had to go through to get a “winning moment.” sometimes sis, the behind the scenes are not so pretty so to compare or feel envious toward somebody else is ridicule. Everyone has a prepared time. Wait on yours and be of good courage.
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!
Hope this was a blessing to you in some way and I pray the next time someone win you’ll be happy for them and mean it.