Stop self sabotaging.
Read that again.....
Self sabotage: the act of destroying or damaging something deliberately so that it does not work properly (courtesy of Miriam Webster Dictionary)
Self sabotaging behaviors : procrastination, comfort eating, utilizing drugs, alcohol, self injury such as cutting yourself.
I’ll add my own; stagnation, isolation, depression, toxic, neglecting oneself and doing the same thing over and over again, but desiring change.
Rose, a couple days ago. I found myself doing this. I went into a place in my mind and it was a low corner. A dark, ashy and gloomy corner where I sat and the more I sat in this place in my mind the more sadden I felt. I usually appreciate dearly my alone time, but this time I was not alone.
My dark thoughts and depression wanted in. They weren’t too far from me.
How have you been since this month started? This week? Do you find yourself harming you? I know you are probably thinking “that’s too extreme. I don’t cut myself girl” and a knife may not be a getaway for you or an object you run too, but are you thinking low of yourself? Did you start believing and then along the way shrugged your shoulders like “if it happens I guess?”
Did you stop practicing what you were preaching? Are the things God told you in secret via dreams and visions all look too much for you? See, that’s not the issue.
The real issue is your mind playing tricks on you. Your nasty thoughts that’s overwhelming you. You have the power to control those thoughts. You don’t have to sabotage yourself anymore. Yes, it’s so much easier to lay down in discomfort and pity (I’ve done it)
But, honestly. You are not hurting anyone but yourself.
Here’s some leading causes that may be the main issue to your self sabotage.
Rose, I love you, but you have to love you enough to get out of the hole you dig. I know we LOVE to ask God to get us out, but 90% of the time he has given us tools to get out, so what’s the delay? We are lazy! We are afraid of leaving what makes our dark corner feel great.
3 John 1:2 Beloved, I pray that in every way you may prosper and enjoy good health, as it goes well with your soul.
John 10: 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Sis, get out of your dark corner and create a new corridor dazzled with lights from above after all you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Be encouraged!
#selfcare #selflove #loveletterstoyourself #haitianbloggers #teengirls #youngwomen
Hey Rose if I told you that you are standing in your own way of having it all would you believe me?
I love the topic of confidence because so many girls and young women in middle school,junior high and college go through various cycles in their lives feeling insecure. Insecure about their bodies, talents, gifts, hair, birth-mark and where they come from. Isn’t it like the enemy to utilize society to make you dislike everything about you that God made unique???
“The things that makes you unique are the very things the enemy manipulated you to dislike.” - Nancy Fleuridor
You are questioning and uncertain of the parts that causes you to stand out. I, too had very low insecurity moments during my elementary through middle school and a little bit of high school. Occasionally, I now shock myself when I hear the boldness that escapes my mouth. “Nancy did you just say that?!!! Girl who do you think you are?!” I’ve gotten used to it though.
See what shift for me was my MIND. I began to believe God’s word over my lie and decided for the rest of my life I won’t allow a single human being to ever make me doubt the real me. You want to gain confidence? You wish to walk with your head high instead of a sad puppy with their head down then believe what the Lord says girl. Confess out loud I AM from God’s kingdom, I AM in his image meaning I can make wise decisions like him and showcase love to all mankind. I AM a winner and I AM a millionaire because the Kingdom has plenty. Rose, finish this statement I AM……
In essence, to say it out loud is not sufficient. A habit must be birthed within you. Train your mind and body to agree with every syllable and vowel. Screenshot below how to boost your confidence and not settle in your thinking ever again!!
Rose, I hope you understand how real it is for your confidence to take off this year! We are in 2019 and old ways cannot continue following us. From now on, upgrade your thinking. I see you, but God sees you! Be encourage, Je’ taime!
Nancy F, MUAH!
My teenage years was filled with a lot of sunny days and rainy ones. I made a mess around my house trying to cook something I saw my neighbor made, I slipped and fell in front of everyone at my old middle school Thomas Jefferson Middle School and my old crush saw me, how embarrassing? It was a pleasure walking blocks from school to home with my friends. We were sweating and conversing about our day or how our teacher tried it. We even made stops to the nearest corner stores and ate junk food for dinner.
Young rose, I want you to enjoy your youth because once you transition into adulthood that's it. There's no going back and re-living those precious times. Yes, Chuck-E. Cheese will always be open for entertainment, but nothing beats the authentic summer days and actually living in the moment. I hope you aren't trying to grow up too fast you have a whole lot of lessons ahead of you. Breathe.
Below is a list of 10 things that every teen girls should know (if you don't already know.) Comment, like and share with a friend and as always be encourage!
Models Instagram page: _xx.sarahh
trackstar_nene and yourfavorite_shanty.
Thank you for reading!
Nancy F, muah.
#teengirlsadvocate #teenbloggers #encourager #nancyf #empoweringyoungwomen #speaker #writer #haitianbloggers #youwritegirl #writingcommunity
You are NOT crazy. Yes you read that correctly. You aren’t and the best part is you are not alone. A lot of people are embarrassed, ashamed and hide really well when it comes to emotionally healing to pretend like it’s not there or they don’t need it, but you don’t have too. Sister, this does not have to be you. God placed feelings and emotions on the inside of us and thankfully, we don’t have to shun away from them. I will always encourage you to look closer within because anyone can dress up the body, but no one can dress up what’s inside the body.
I have been doing some emotional detoxing and perhaps you left that stage last year (congratulations you are more internally healthy keep up the good work!) But if this is your current stage like it is for me than allow me to share 4 things I want you to consider on your journey to becoming a better you a more free version of you.
Jeremiah 17:14 Heal me, Lord and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.
Emotional healing is a process. A process is more than overnight. Be willing, to be honest with God and yourself. Get to the root of the problem. Stop proclaiming quotes, reciting scriptures and doing what people expect of you and start getting heal so you can be made whole. God desires a clean hand and a pure heart.
yours truly Nancy F.
What is purpose? Purpose is the reason for which something is done or created for which something exists.
It was a gloomy afternoon and I was home alone. I love cleaning so I decided to sweep the entire house and spoke out loud to the Lord. In the meantime, prior to having this dialogue with Jesus, I was reading an amazing book titled “In Pursuit of Purpose” by Dr. Myles Munroe this was the assigned book to read at the book club I was a part of, but I read the book so fast because of all the wow moments I encountered. This powerful book spoke volume to my inner man and it led me to read the Bible concerning my purpose and this is where the REAL questions began……
I asked questions like this
“Lord what am I doing here?”
“What did you have in mind when you created me?
“What is the why to my existence?”
“I want to live a life where I am walking in my full assignment what does that look like?”
“You created everything for a reason so what was your reason for me?
These were few of my many questionnaires towards God. Sister, if you are serious about knowing your purpose then it is going to require you to ask intentional questions. I purposely ask those questions. I did not go around the bush or fake what I was feeling I genuinely wanted to know. I set aside time to chat with the Holy Spirit, to pray and fast because I wanted answers. I practically bothered God every day about this. See, Jesus is not hiding anything from you. He actually wants you to know Luke 12:32 “Do not be afraid, little flock for your father has been pleased to give you the kingdom) Jesus is waiting for you to ask him. Knowing your purpose is one of the most treasurable things in this lifetime. God created everything for a reason read Genesis so your existence has a reason and it is your job to seek the Lord and find and live a fulfilled Christian life. I want to share with you 5 ways to attain access to finding your UNIQUE purpose. Are you ready to tap into a whole other level? Continue reading….
The nerve of me to open my mouth bluntly and say “God, I want to help teen girls and young women” only for the Lord to save me because, at that time when I uttered those words, I was not a believer of the Gospel. Funny enough, the thoughts would not leave me. They grew and grew. I shared all my feelings with God daily. I want you to express. Tell him your deepest desires over and over again. After all, he tells us to come boldly before the throne of grace.
Scripture tells us in Matthew 7: 7-8 when you ask you shall receive. It is dangerous to keep quiet especially when you and I have access to the Kingdom of God. There are things waiting to be discovered, but you aren’t asking. Some of us grew up in religious churches where you were told to not question God about anything, but if we are his friends and no longer servants shouldn't we know what he is all about? We have the right to ask. Do not allow your thoughts or outsiders make you feel guilty for going before the Lord and desiring to know why he created you. If Abraham had back and forth dialogue with God then so can you and I.
Prayer is special communion with God. Pray always and be intentional too. I know I keep repeating this word, but it is true. An intentional heart is a honest heart. Pray without ceasing and you will get your answer. Pray, wait for him to response and then proceed. There was a season in my life when I felt God was not talking. I wanted to knock on Heaven’s door and say “Hello sir is there anybody home?” but I realized when I prayed it was not God who was mute, but it was my ability to hear. How bad do you want an answer? Pray and then take time to hear. Hint: try praying the word of God, for example if you are reading something like John 10:10 make it personal and say “God, your word says that the thief only come to destroy, but I thank you that you came that I may have an abundant life. You want me to have a satisfied life with you. Show me my purpose so I can mirror you in all that I do and please you.”
This is an extra step you can take, but it’s a great one. I love that the word of God said when you fast and not if you do. Great things unravel when you humble yourself and starve your flesh to get closer to God. He responds to prayer and fasting big time. If you don’t believe me read the bible for examples :)
5. BE OPEN TO RECEIVE
You may have found your purpose or you are about to. Be open to receive why? Well, most likely it will be BIGGER than you and you will feel unqualified for the mission. I felt so scared and in this present day I shiver within when I think about what God revealed to me in regards of my visions, the prophetic words and forth. I wanted to cry due to the simple fact, the dream does not match where I am today, but God doesn’t care. How he sees you is what matters to him. We always see the status now, but he is out of our time and he sees the bigger print.
P.S God led me to read a book which was connected to the bible. I want you to be aware that your way of finding out may be completely different from me and that’s okay as long as you discover your destiny that’s 10 times more significant. Do not try to copy me or anybody else on their journey to finding their purpose be inspired, but flow according to the spirit because that’s the best way! Funny enough, what I always wanted to do was always in me. God bought it to light. Since the eighth grade I declared out of my mouth I wanted to teach teenage girls and young women about the importance of self worth and finding true love in Jesus Christ and boom! Mind- blown. I hope you were inspired! Try these steps, the journey will be different, but the steps will work (you may get 8 more steps messing with God.)
Be bless and encouraged!
To: A rose
From: a rose who use to struggle the same way,
You are very beautiful both inside and out. Yes you are...but now that we have gotten that out of the way it’s important you believe this for yourself. YES. not even I, can make this true for you. You have something that is radiant, empowering, a story that will impact many and have an expected end. (Jeremiah 29:11) tells that Jesus has plans for us and sister those plans are worth looking forward to.
One thing I’ve learned in my 20 + years of living is that those around you, tv shows you watch, people you meet, the schools you go to and the company you keep can make it hard on you to accept your true self. While people (themselves do not have the power to do this) you give them the means to by thinking less of who you are. I praise God for allowing me to endure bullying, endure being talked about, being insecure, broken and feeling really low because then he made his strength known to my weakness. 2 Corinthians 12: 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
You have the biggest battle from walking in total confidence to staying defeated and it’s in one place…your mind. Take out the trash (corrupted mindset) it’s starting to stink and put on a new thought (Philippians 4:8) this mind has an everlasting fragrance. It’s time to start believing you are beautiful, you are pretty, you are loved, you have purpose for your life, you are not an accident, you are a chosen generation for a time as this, you are the one he chose to go through and grow through for his name sake. You can do great things. No, you are not ugly, you are not weird (they simply cannot understand your uniqueness and that’s fine). You are going to have to swallow this pill that not everyone will like you.If that guy didn’t choose you then he wasn’t meant to be yours. Let another girl have him….
Accept those flaws
Accept your weird ways
Accept where you came from don’t let anyone put you down because you don’t look like them
Accept your uniqueness that is a gift from above.
Accept your true identity, God made everyone different…
You have some work to do and the journey to accepting who you really are… who God says you are is not an easy one, but the process will make you so much more beautiful and you’ll learn so much that you’ll become teachable. Just like a rose the process isn’t so great, but in the end it will blossom amazingly.
Be encourage, NF.
I remember thinking I was a officially a woman when I was dancing around my living room and (boop!) my period came. I felt so unusual that day yet a little excited, but overtime I found that having my period from the age 11 years old to now has not been exciting. Sis, I struggled with extreme horrible period pains to the point of not attending school. I would skip school, missed work days, not dress out for P.E when I was in school, I would vomit, lay on the floor and then some. I was in a lot of pain and very dramatic. I did not look forward to those five days that sometimes turned into seven days of menstrual cycle. This happened for years and years....
Is that you right now? Do you experience horrible pain? Do you crawl on the floor too? (is that too extreme?) here's what I found....
Isaiah 53: 5 says " But he was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon him, And by his stripes we are healed.”
The word of God is black and white. However, the issue was applying it. Are you applying it to your situation? When you get a cut the first thing that comes to mind is to find a bandage to cove up the cut, wound or injured part of your body, but if you get a cut and do not use the bandage to cover it up then it is of no good use for you. Yes, the bandage is there to do it's job, but you must actually use it to see results. Really use the word of God and apply it to your challenged areas.
I found that the key to my extreme menstrual cramps was my malnutrition. My mouth was open 24 hours like Walmart and I allow anything in my body. Proverbs 25:28 “ Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” No one is obligated to control your mouth, but you. Your flesh will always tell you “you need this” or “just a little bit” but is it worth it? If it’s harmful for your body or you’ve experience the aftermath of eating certain food or snacks then why continue? (I’m telling you what I know.)
DISCLAIMER: These are the steps that worked for me after doing it numerous times when the pain arrive. The process for you may be a little different , but I also did some personal researching to find what works for my menstrual situation and I will encourage you to do the same. If your pain is unbearable, becomes problematic or stays longer than intended time then you may need to see doctor for further instructions. I hope you were encourage to identify what goes in your body and begin take better care of yourself and your soul.
Thank you for reading. Share this with a friend, subscribe to my mailing list, leave me a comment and as always be encourage,