Yes we’re living the single life we are living oooh in this 90’s kind of world I’m glad I got my girl..... finish it if you know it!
The thought of being single forever scared me at one point. I imagined how my life was would be if it lived it all alone? It was a terrifying thought, but here’s what I’ve discovered while I’m single. God is the one who placed the desire within me for marriage plus, to desire marriage isn’t a sin so don’t feel bad when other women look at you funny. (I’ve gotten weird looks due to the fact marriage isn’t really respected in this generation) Also, it’s not that deep. I’ve been without a man (my-journey-to-singleness-after-always-having-a-man.html) for quite some time. I’ll like to believe partial of it was God and then there was me. Why me? Well, Heaven and Earth must agree. Nothing happens on earth occurs without Heaven consent your girl was a bit stubborn during the beginning stages of singleness. Due to this fact, some lessons took longer to learn. Sis, God may have called you into a season of singleness, but understand the longer it takes for you to grasp what he wants to show you the longer you’ll be single.
Contentment in the Lord is GREAT gain. 1 Timothy 6: 6-11.
I cannot stress this enough, to be fully satisfied and unbothered by the cares of this life makes it easier to HEAR from Jesus. How can someone hear when they have their earplugs in? Wouldn’t you turn the volume down to understand what somebody is trying to say? In the same way, turn that volume down in your spirit and hear for instructions and clarity.
Below are 3 things I acknowledge and ran with for the pursuit of living my best life while my martial status is single.
#1 It’s not that deep. Yes marriage looks beautiful. The freedom to have someone to call your own and have legal intimacy with is amazing! But it’s not that serious. Marriage is serious, but the anxiety, the stress, the longing to be with someone is not the end of the world. There’s so much more to life that I believe we’ve put on the back burner only to study what’s to come in the future. How horrible? Jesus has given you this present life yet you are worried about every hour of it. (Matthew 6:34) Again, if God placed the desire in you to become a wife then trust that he will fulfill it. No need to worry anymore.
#2 Ecclesiastes 9:11 My favorite part of this scripture is the line that says time and chance will happen to them all. This freed me! I can have all the understanding, wisdom, skill and etc but time and chance happens to EVERYONE. God knows exactly where you are and need to be.
#3 Waiting will reveal what’s in your heart and it brings HOPE. Nothing expose you more than when you want something your heart will snitch on you. Additionally, When you want something you wait patiently for it. Hope that is seen is not hope because nobody hopes for what they can already see... I know I don’t. I don’t mind waiting on God just as long as he teaches me how to do it. Pray that God will teach you like an instructor teaches a student to wait. Wait with joy & contentment. Wait while minding your business. It's a whole world out there why aren't you living?
These were my 3 Epiphany’s. What were some of yours? Are you learning like I am in my singleness? Don’t be hard on yourself, you will make more mistakes, but after falling seven times you will stand up eight!
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Thanks for reading! Be encouraged. Xoxo
Self-Love. Let's take a minute to think about that word.
Self-Love. Let's take another minute to decide what it means.
For me, “Self-Love means accepting myself for my strengths and my weaknesses. It means trusting myself, protecting myself and most of all it means making myself happy and content.” - FaithnTurtles
Coming to this personal definition wasn't easy. Loving yourself, like many other things in life is often easier said than done. I have been saying I love myself for many years but I didn't fully know or appreciate that or what it meant until God made me appreciate it.
When I decided to transform my pain into purpose is when I truly began to love myself
How I Truly Learned to Love Myself
"For every Man shall bear his own burden"- Galatians 6:5
I have made decisions in my life that may not have been the wisest of decisions and for a long time, I was haunted by those decisions. I was haunted by the mistakes or wrong turns I felt that I made. Yet, I claimed Self-Love.
How can I love myself but at the same time not accept myself? Logically it doesn't make sense so I asked God to give me acceptance. Accepting yourself is the first step in loving and celebrating yourself.
In learning to accept yourself you will realize that you are a self.
"a person's essential being that distinguishes them from others especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action. "
Yourself is what makes you unique. The element of your being that sets you apart from everyone else in the world. Doesn't that sound cool?
In accepting myself I came to the realization that I am a self. I am a person with unique capabilities, unique decision-making skills, unique adversities and although these may lead to what are "common mistakes" that humans make; I am still unique in making them. This also means that I must be unique I overcoming and unique in loving myself.
I am not my decisions
I am not my decisions. After accepting myself and noting the fact that I am a self. I then noted the fact that I am not my decisions. One element of myself doesn't define me as a person. Only I can define me, no one else can.
I am not my friends, family or parents
I am not my past relationships
I am not my failures
I am not my successes
I am a product of what I have been through and overcame. I am a product of my experiences that have shaped me into a good person who strives to empower others. I am a product of my never-ending fight to be the best that I can be as instructed by God.
Who are you? Tell me on my Instagram: @faithnturtles
How can you accept yourself and come to a distinct understanding about your being but you have not forgiven yourself? How can you ask God for forgiveness but you have not forgiven yourself?
In the answers to these questions, I found self-love.
"if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" 1st John 1:9
It's a Journey
Loving yourself won't happen overnight. You need to take the time to know yourself, accept yourself, forgive yourself and then the love will find you.
It's a journey and a process of continued improvement but with faith, you will get there, if you aren't already.
I hope you got a take away from my experiences and writing. Thank you so much for reading and Thank you to Nancy for featuring me on her blog. You can read her Journey to self-love piece: here.
FaithnTurtles is a lifestyle blog created by Shanice, a Caribbean girl with Big Dreams. Shanice holds a B.Sc. in Psychology and tries to use her platform to share life and self-help tips and tricks with faith at the base.
If you would like to read more and connect with me please follow the links below.
Instagram - @faithnturtles